"In the Tunnel"

This week has been rough, but thankfully things have gotten better as the week progressed. I took the medicine for the miscarriage Sunday when we got home from the concert, so that was unpleasant for me. Monday was better (Jason was nice enough to stay home with me because I was nervous of how the medicine would make me feel.) Tuesday, I actually felt fine, but when I went to the doctor, the ultrasound showed some of the sacks were still there.

So, I had to take another round of medicine. Friday, I went back and the midwife was 99% sure I was done. They did some bloodwork to make sure the hormones were down, but I haven't gotten a call yet, so I hope that no news is good news. Wednesday, we did nursery and I did get to work Thursday and Friday, so that was nice!

Friday, we had life group at our house, talking about the move of Jacob and his family to Egypt with Joseph. I did find it interesting that near the end of Jacob's life, he blesses Joseph's sons, but puts the most important blessing on the younger son instead of the older son. Seems to be a theme of Genesis....

Saturday, Linda, Gary, Lee, Will, Mandy, and Aida came up so we could celebrate Linda's birthday. We ate lunch at the Tap Room and went to Octoberfest. Aida rode a few of the rides, which was cute! Then, we headed up to Blowing Rock to eat at Woodlawns and Kilwins for ice cream.

Today, we worked in nursery and I actually was with the babies for awhile. I felt fine about it and enjoyed it. I don't want our miscarriage to affect us to where it's too painful to be around kids, because we enjoy being around them so much.

Tonight we had a dinner party at TNT where we all brought an ingredient for soup and dessert (but could not say what we were bringing). Then, we decided on what to make: minestrone soup and chocolate chip/peanut cookies (which Jason did).

So, this week starts off as normal as it can. I do feel a sort of "loss of innocence" from the miscarriage: that things will never be the same again. I do have my down moments about it (Saturday, I felt a bit depressed, but today was better).

Right now, Jason and I are "in the tunnel", not quite far enough to say we see "light at the end of the tunnel." One of my own phrases that we used in our wedding story has circled back to comfort and convict me: "God's greatest miracles happen after the pain of uncertainty and disappointment." We don't know right now what that miracle will be, but we will wait for it, as God is faithful and good.